SACCO: Let the kids have fun

In a perfect world, our problems would be as simple as R.E. Lee and the Virginia High School League’s.

Maybe that’s why the R.E. Lee administration, despite its school system staring at a $2.6 million budget shortfall, managed to find time this week to hold individual class meetings “to talk about good sportsmanship and let all our students know that that we hope they take advantage of all the extra-curricular activities at Lee,” Principal Mark Rowicki wrote in an e-mail.

That’s fine and dandy. So, Rowicki and his pals told the kids to behave themselves, to refrain from swearing (well, duh) and using racial or sexist taunts (well, no, they shouldn’t). Also outlawed: singing the “Warm-up-the-bus” song.

Yes, you read that right.

In black and white, right there in the VHSL’s “Sportsmanship Guidelines for VHSL State Events,” the league provides what it calls “Examples of Unsportsmanlike Behavior.” Among them: “Chanting such things as ‘over-rated,’ or ‘you, you, you’ (after a foul), ‘warm-up the bus,’ etc. – these things are disrespectful.” Yes, that’s very laughable.

So, let us get this straight. A harmless chant of “warm-up the bus” is inappropriate? Right here? In the heart of ACC country? You know, home to some of the greatest student sections in college basketball.

That’s it, America. Let’s give up. Let this country collapse now. Let us all learn to speak the language of whatever country deems itself strong enough to buy us out and let us accept our fate. Let’s all live in cookie-cutter suburbia, drive the same cars and lead boring TV-dinner lives. Adults, with their rabid pro-PC mindset, have already ruined high school sports.

Sorry, but it wasn’t that long ago when some of us were in high school. Back in those days, “start up the bus” was a rite of passage. You tried to come to our house and beat us? Yeah, whatever. Look at the scoreboard. You’re down by 10, there’s 30 seconds left. Time to start up that bus and go home. Thanks for trying. Come again.

What? So now we have to coddle that visiting team so their feelings aren’t hurt? Sorry, but any sports team worth its salt knows that if the crowd is going to say that when Team A beats you on the road, then when Team A comes to your place, you’re fired up. You remember that and you want your fans to chant the same thing when you drop them by 15.

How about the time-honored tradition of holding up newspapers when they announce the road team’s starting lineup. Is that “inappropriate?” Sorry, but what student section wants to know, or even cares for that matter, the names on the team they hope will soon be vanquished in front of their eyes?

“We also let them know that there are consequences for inappropriate behavior at extra-curricular activities,” read Rowicki’s e-mail.

Let us take the time to let R.E. Lee High School and the Staunton School District know there are going to be some “consequences” for their “inappropriate behavior” if they do decide to make athletes pay to play sports — one of a dozen ideas that have been tossed out there, said Superintendant Steven Nichols last week.

You know, like you’re going to lose half of your teams and the traditions that come with them.

Let us take this time to let R.E. Lee High School and the Staunton School District know that if they cut coach’s salaries — a group of people who basically volunteer their time because, and we all know this, coaching is a 24/7 job — they’re probably going to lose some pretty darn good coaches.

Meanwhile, this school district has a budget shortfall to deal with.

Meanwhile, the VHSL is going to feel the pinch if they haven’t already. Must be nice that they can take time to hammer this ludicrous point home.

Then again, it is the playoffs when adults who don’t coach or play the sport decide it’s time to step in and ruin the fabric of what high school sports are and what they should be F.U.N. And there’s nothing derogatory, or sexist or racist or, let’s be blunt and honest, there’s not even an ounce of anything anybody could construe as “hate,” in chanting “Warm up the bus.”

Now go figure out your budget shortfall, will ya’, and let the kids have their good-clean fun.

This lesson in common sense provided by this columnist was free. And with a $2.6 million budget shortfall that should mean something.