Three Up; Three Down

Three Up

CASH COW: Somebody obviously forgot to tell local shoppers that consumer confidence is in the tank. Waynesboro sales tax revenues topped $400,000 in for four consecutive months ending in June. That’s top among three communities in the central Shenandoah Valley – the River City, Staunton and Augusta County. It’s also largely attributable to the West End, where growth is continuing, evidenced by a pair of recent development announcements. 

THE DRONE: No, we’re not talking about a politician. We’re talking about those really creepy unmanned aircraft that snuff out enemies via remote control. They’re creepy, that is, until they take out something creepier, like, say, Baitullah Mehsud, the terror boss blamed for the assassination of Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto. President Barack Obama has stepped up drone attacks, which drew fire for President George W. Bush and his pals. The silence now is predictable but pleasing.

MICHAEL VICK: OK, it’s kinda hard to feel sorry for the ex-Virginia Tech star. But we’re still pulling for Vick, fresh out of the slammer on his dog-fighting rap and now a Philadelphia Eagle. Get it right this time, Mike.

Three Down

ANOTHER JOE: Well, of course. Robert F. McDonnell, the Republican gubernatorial candidate, is a gosh-darn right-winger, so he must be a Confederate, too, probably ready to start the secession thing all over again. That’s the presumption Joe Abbey, the campaign manager for Democratic gubernatorial nominee R. Creigh Deeds, made when he sent a tweet declaring that McDonnell was displaying the rebel banner at a gun show in Richmond. Turns out, Abbey was misinformed: the flag was on display at a neighboring booth, not McDonnell’s. What is it with guys named Joe?

DUBYA AND DARTH: Channeling former press boss Scott McClellan, ex-Vice President Dick Cheney revealed this week that his former boss (well, kinda), President George W. Bush turned yellow-belly in his second term. What’s really mystifying is how Bush managed to cut those puppet strings with Dick pulling them at the same time.

SAY IT AIN’T SO, JOE: So everything’s going just peachy for rookie Rep. Alan Grayson as he plans an Orlando fundraiser, until word gets out that VP Biden is planning to drop in. The trouble? One of Grayson’s hosts was to be federal lobbyist Dick Batchelor. GOP insiders raced to point out that White House rules bar Obama and his top brass from attending fundraisers with lobbyists. Joe, apparently, missed the memo.