Unemployment has its up side

I am very grateful for my unemployed friends. How would I get along without them? In the space of less than a week my hound Oscar went from frisky to lying at the threshold of death’s door. There was pain; then there was a grand mal seizure followed by 24 hours of being unwilling to walk even a few steps. For two days I fully expected him to die or have to be put down. He has recovered just enough for me to breathe, although the ultimate outcome is still in doubt. But this is not about Oscar; this is about my unemployed friends.

One of my friends came over when I called in a panic at the time of the seizure and helped me take Oscar to the emergency vet. This was a job for two people, not only because of the physical requirements but because I was a mess. I needed someone with me at least as much as my dog did. This unemployed friend helped out when I needed someone to stay with the dog because of the “seizure watch” imposed to find out if he would have a similar incident within the next day or two. Another of my unemployed friends came by to just sit and do whatever he could when I didn’t think the dog would make it through the night. He was available to stay the next day if I needed him to be there, and if the worst happened, he volunteered to dig a grave and help me with burial.

The comfort and aid these friends gave me made an enormous difference, but it has been brought to my attention that the reason they could be there for me was that they had no paying jobs.

We used to have a lot more people around who weren’t going to jobs every day. There were the maiden aunts who lived with relatives. None of them could write poetry like Emily Dickinson, but like Emily, they lived with family, helped maintain the household and were available to help out in a multitude of ways. There were the eccentric uncles who came to visit and never left. There were men who lived modestly, often in houses we called shacks, who didn’t have regular employment but who would help out on a day-labor basis when they were needed. And, of course, there were “housewives.” The world was held together in large measure by people who could step in and do whatever had to be done.

In the ’70s more women got paying jobs because they wanted careers of their own and because the costs of energy, education, housing and medical care rose much faster than wages. People who weren’t employed were made to feel that they were shiftless and were called upon to explain themselves in a way Emily Dickinson would never have been required to do. The good news was that a lot more people had opportunities that had been denied them. The bad news was that there was never anyone around to help you with your sick dog or to sit with you when someone you loved was having surgery. Working women joked that they needed a wife.

The truth is that we all need unemployed friends who can be there when our working friends can only send a supportive e-mail or make a phone call. We have structured society in a way that doesn’t work very well for most of us. It can be pretty lonely and scary when there is no one who can help; all your friends are working.

The rising tide of unemployment is a disaster for many people. I know that. On the other hand, having every single person from 16 to 70 being in a paid job can also be a disaster. We need better arrangements. I don’t know how to do this, but I do know that it was my unemployed friends who pulled me through a wretched week.

Patricia Hunt, of Staunton, is a chaplain at Mary Baldwin College.