Daschle’s glasses work against him

Some people blame Tom Daschle’s problems on his failure to pay taxes. Some blame his too-cozy relationship with the health care industry he would be overseeing had he been confirmed as secretary of health and human services. Some blame the quick $5 million he made after leaving the Senate. Some blame his use of an expensive car service for which he paid nothing. Some blame Tim Geithner; if Daschle had gone first, it would have been Geithner who failed to get confirmed. Maybe. But I really blame his glasses.

Daschle has these really cool glasses frames. I love them. If any faculty member at Mary Baldwin College turned up in them, I would declare it a successful upgrade; we are not a fashionable lot. We do not, however, want the guy deciding who gets surgery and who does not to be self-consciously evaluating the fashion impact of his appearance. It is unseemly.

Think about it. Would Obama have been elected president if he had worn those red frames? I think not. I’ve been having fun trying Daschle’s glasses on a lot of people. Who would they work for, and who would we think less of for wearing them?

They would not work for General Petraeus. They would not work for any general. Eisenhower? Powell? No.  Those glasses have a bit of whimsy about them. We don’t like whimsy in our generals.

I think they would work for Hillary Clinton if she were a commencement speaker or went into the pundit business, but maybe not as a presidential candidate or secretary of state. They wouldn’t work for Katie Couric, but then nothing has been working for Katie Couric.

They might work for Dianne Feinstein, but she is from California. I don’t think Arnold Schwarzenegger could get by with them, however. I can’t even imagine them on Clint Eastwood. In fact, that might be a good test for any man aspiring to high public office: would Clint Eastwood wear this? If the answer is no, maybe he needs to rethink.

Oprah probably could get by with them provided she wasn’t wearing Jimmy Choo shoes and didn’t have precious gems dangling from her ears, but then Oprah can get by with most anything short of a felony. Judge Judy could wear them. So could Margaret from “Dennis the Menace.”

Those glasses would be one of Elton John’s more conservative choices, but no one is suggesting that he be in the president’s cabinet. If Alan Greenspan wore them, would we be even madder at him than we are now? Quite possibly. And if John Thane wore them, he might be the target of an assassin. Ditto the CEO of General Motors.

Daschle’s glasses would seem to carry a hint of a smirk. We didn’t like that quality in President George W. Bush. It is impossible to imagine Bush in those glasses; they clearly don’t go with cowboy boots.

How about important people from the past? Lincoln, no. George Washington or Thomas Jefferson? Absolutely not. But there is one founder for whom Daschle’s glasses would be perfect: Benjamin Franklin. Franklin was a fun eccentric. He invented things. He had a way with the ladies. He was a huge hit in France. If those glasses had been available in his time, he would have looked great in them. Whimsy would have become him. But Tom Daschle is no Ben Franklin. He just couldn’t get by with it. I looked at him on my television screen and just wanted to rip them off his face, smash them and tell him where he could take his limo and his millions and his desire to tell the rest of us who will get health care and who will not. I think it was the glasses.

Patricia Hunt, of Staunton, is a chaplain at Mary Baldwin College.