A recent career change has proved enlightening. A past opinion has been altered, another reaffirmed and an analogy discovered.

As a media superstar, I believe I have an opportunity – no, an obligation — to offer the young people of this great nation some sound advice, such as “stay out of my yard, whippersnapper” or “get a haircut, you darn hippy.”

If I were Sir Fred Goodwin, I would be spending some of my considerable wealth on bodyguards.

In a Washington Irving short story, Rip Van Winkle was a man who fell asleep under a tree and awakened 20 years later to discover that things around him have changed greatly.

I am very grateful for my unemployed friends.

Newly appointed Attorney General Eric Holder recently stated that, in his opinion, when it comes to talking about racial matters in America that there is a reluctance to do so because we are a nation of cowards.

More than 400 television stations across the nation switched from analog to digital signals on Feb. 17, and hundreds more will make the transition on June 12, leaving millions of bewildered viewers asking what happened to their “Matlock” reruns.

When I was a little girl, my family had an old 78 rpm record player.

By now, anyone who has kept up with the news has heard of Bernard Madoff. And each week, another swindler (sorry, alleged swindler) is made known to the public.

Heard about scientists decoding subjective preference from single-trial near-infrared spectroscopy signals?

Some people blame Tom Daschle’s problems on his failure to pay taxes.

The Pittsburgh Steelers were picked to win the 44th Super Bowl because of a young quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger, and a tenacious defense.

The clock on the wall says it’s February — and, yes, I’ve got a very detailed clock — so it’s time once again for me to adopt the lovable persona of Mr. Romance, your expert guide to matters of the heart.

I have an infrastructure problem.

Two recent recommendations and the response each drew brought back memories of times long ago.

The big question is, who gets the $35,000 commode?

No one knows if our economic downturn is temporary or if lasting changes are being made in the way we live. What will life look like in five or 10 years?

Last July I complained about three local newspapers, The Daily Record, The News Leader and The News Virginian. All committed what I felt was a disservice to Barack Obama, who had just won the nomination of a major American political party. If you don’t remember, I wrote that all three had overlooked or ignored an opportunity to recognize history in the making.

What may look to some like an isolated incident involving a rogue cow and an unlucky bicyclist is, to this dogged and determined reporter, another piece of mounting evidence of an organized global bovine conspiracy against the human race.

We have become a nation of gamblers.

You cannot imagine the elation I get from being able to say these three words – President Barack Obama.

My wife was surfing the Web — not for divorce lawyers or untraceable poisons, I was relieved to learn while later checking her browsing history — when she came across an interesting employment opportunity.

How could there be anyone for whom 2008 was a banner year?

In six days, the eyes of the world will be focused on Washington, D.C.

Attentive readers — that would be those who are not at this point staring into space, wondering why they were reading this eight seconds ago — may recall last week’s column, Scott’s Super Powerful Year in Preview 2009, Part I.

Henry Blodget, in an article in The Atlantic magazine, wrote that bubbles will always happen, and gave reasons why Wall Street “always blows it.”

Augusta County Pastures Supervisor Tracy Pyles in October presented reasons why the county should delay mailing recent reassessments.

Once again, as media outlets take a “special look back” at events that shaped the previous year — really an opportunity for journalists to write a bucket-load of year-in-review stories in advance and spend a week or two polishing their resumes and looking for a more inviting career path, like bomb-disposal technician — I instead choose to use my super powers to predict what lies ahead in 2009.

A new year is coming, and it is hard to be optimistic when “everyone” is saying that the economy will get worse before it gets better.

I wish I had a nickel for every time someone said, “Scott, what were the top monkey-related stories of the year?”