I have worried endlessly about the lack of jobs for young people. Now a new career path is opening up: PR and advertising for political candidates. Yes, thanks to the recent Supreme Court decision that any regulation of campaign financing is an affront to the constitutional right to free speech, billions of dollars will be funneled into political campaigns. We have young Americans who need jobs and have grown up with a steady diet of advertising of all kinds. They are shovel-ready to move the enormous pile of manure that passes for political discourse in this country.

The state sold a giant chicken and, unfortunately, I didn’t buy it.

One difference between the aftermath of Katrina and the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti is singing. People are singing in Haiti. A report from the BBC described the sounds of people crying and singing and praying, but it is singing that has captured my attention.

One difference between the aftermath of Katrina and the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti is singing. People are singing in Haiti. A report from the BBC described the sounds of people crying and singing and praying, but it is singing that has captured my attention.

I can’t think of a better way to describe the actions and reactions of the world’s citizens following the earthquake and tremors that occurred in Haiti last week than to borrow, with a little rearranging, the title of a classic Clint Eastwood Western, “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.”

I was in my car when I caught the end of a story on the radio. There are scientists working toward creating ways to move asteroids headed toward Earth. Great, I thought; let me add asteroids striking the planet to the long list of things I already am told to fear: terrorism, cancer, weight gain, unemployment, poverty, the deaths of people I love, global warming, the decline of the United States, the Chinese, people whose politics I abhor. I could go on.

Some conservative Republicans are grasping at anything within reach to sabotage leaders of the Democratic Party, including President Barack Obama. Their latest tactic is to play the race card. And some recent African American college graduates are heading to court in efforts to combat unfair hiring practices.

I recall The Great Blizzard of ’09 as if it were last week or maybe the week before. There we were, huddled in our home, no electricity, snow falling, wind howling, wolves at the door.

I can easily get discouraged about the state of the nation, so it was actually encouraging to read in historian Gordon Wood’s “Revolutionary Characters” that James Madison became so exasperated during the Constitutional Conventional that he seriously considered walking out. The convention undercut his Virginia Plan when the delegates agreed to give each state two senators.

President Barack Obama left Washington on Christmas Eve following an historic U.S. Senate vote to provide health care coverage to millions of uninsured Americans. The president headed home to Hawaii for what he thought was a vacation. It wasn’t to be. Obama couldn’t escape his day job responsibilities. He had to also endure a backhanded health care reference from conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh. Then it got worse.

Readers who did not overly indulge in Uncle Fred’s eggnog or trip over the tail-end of their new Snuggies and smash their skulls on coffee tables may recall last week’s column, Scott’s Trance-Induced 2010 Year in Preview, Part I, a guide to what will happen in the coming year.

Maybe we need a better way to channel the passions of the young. I can’t help but wonder about Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the man who intended to take down a plane as it approached Detroit. He is an extremist, but youth can be a time of extremism expressed in many forms. 

Like a number of other famous and infamous people – including athletes (at all levels older than midget league), entertainers, elected representatives, business executives, preachers and priests – Tiger Woods mistakenly thought he was immune to getting caught doing wrong. Until Nov. 26, Tiger’s image was squeaky clean. At 2:30 a.m. Nov. 27, the world as he knew it, changed. He went from being all over television to nowhere to be found.

Shhh.

I’m in a trance.

Each year at this time, I either summon my super power (the ability to see into the future, thanks to a 1940s Los Alamos lab accident involving Dr. Von Schnitzel’s ill-advised radiation experiments), gaze into my crystal ball (bought at a flea market from a guy selling tube socks, puppies and used clairvoyance devices) or lapse into a supernaturally induced trance to predict what will happen in the coming year.

As I look toward the New Year, I am trying to learn how to live in a country so different from the one I was living in just a couple of years ago. It is almost as if I have moved, but I didn’t move; the place itself was transformed.

Just as I have made suggestions, and urged Virginia governors and the General Assembly since I started writing opinions, I’ll continue to do so with Gov.-elect Robert F. McDonnell and the 2010 General Assembly. The suggestion is to give consideration to and pass legislation permitting off-track betting, slot machine and casino gambling in throughout Virginia. (It’s noted that off-track betting is allowed in certain regions of the state.)

To the Waynesboro School Board: Slow down and give parents more options to consider on redistricting.

This holiday season, I’m putting faith in my fellow man — or counting on a Christmas miracle – that the pony will actually work when we plug it in. It’s not really a pony. It’s our daughter’s Christmas gift, and on the off chance she reads this column (she actually prefers more high-brow material), I’ve decided to refer to the real gift as a pony so I won’t ruin the surprise.

How can families cut expenses? Article after dreary article is put together with recommendations that can be summed up in a sentence: spend less. Didn’t we know that already? The number one place they recommend we cut is eating out. Eating out is blamed for obesity, insolvency and malnutrition. Eating at home is said to nurture family life, improve health and save you from the poor house.

Once again, Staunton’s elected leaders have decided to ignore national, state and local economies and depend on revenue generated by taxes raised from restaurants, small businesses and lodging to pay for city services.

Whatever the gentleman came to talk about was suddenly unimportant. That’s because a split second before he gripped my hand in that warm, embracing shake perfected by salesmen and politicians, he coughed into his fist.

Words the ambitious live by: Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have. You have to spend money to make money. Build it and they will come.

I don’t like to use my widely read newspaper column (eight loyal readers, if Uncle Vern recovers from what doctors have now labeled “swine gout”) for personal gain, unless it’s to lure people into my latest money-making scheme or further my political ambitions, which is also my latest money-making scheme.

I remember a Pentecostal friend in seminary who told of the reaction of members of his denomination when it was decided by the leaders that playing cards wasn’t sinful after all. People were angry. How can something be wrong one day and right the next? Are the rules really that arbitrary? Is abstaining from card playing a judgment call rather than the clear will of God? Have we made a sacrifice unnecessarily? And if card playing isn’t wrong after all, what about all the other rules? Maybe they are on shaky ground, too.

In March of 1861, 8-year-old George Patten was having a rough go of it in school. The little scamp told classmates he had met the newly elected president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. Being the son of a journalist, George was immediately accused of making it up.

I was having dinner with a woman several years ago when out of the blue she said, “Don’t tell me I ought to be thankful. I hate it when people do that.” I responded that I wouldn’t dream of such a thing. I could not imagine that it would do any good. It got me to thinking about the difference between gratitude as a moral obligation and gratitude as sheer joy.

I was having dinner with a woman several years ago when out of the blue she said, “Don’t tell me I ought to be thankful. I hate it when people do that.” I responded that I wouldn’t dream of such a thing. I could not imagine that it would do any good. It got me to thinking about the difference between gratitude as a moral obligation and gratitude as sheer joy.

Cars, executions and jobs have been in the news lately. Their relationship in this column is by happenstance. The order in which I chose to discuss them is based on their spelling (alphabetical).

The latest car advertisements, especially the Japanese ones, are touting how far manufacturers have come in converting and improving their hybrid (combined gasoline and electric fueled) models.

For right-wing Republicans, the presidency of George W. Bush began as a dream come true.

My truck may be a time machine.

Whatever you do, don’t tell any shadowy government agencies. I don’t want square-jawed men in suits and sunglasses with tiny wires coming out of their ears whisking us away to an undisclosed location to kick the tires, check under the hood and interrogate me using “persuasive methods” previously awarded the Dick Cheney Seal of Approval.

“Where did you get the time machine, son?”