Thanks amid heartache

The voices of her children echoed down the stairs and into the quiet of the house. From downstairs, Anissa Yancey, of Grottoes, listened with a smile.

Even the concern that lingers in her voice won’t disrupt her pride.

“I think they’re adjusting,” Yancey said. “They’re quiet. But they’ve kind of prepared themselves. It’s been a rough three years and I tell them to think of the new year.”

In 2007 her husband, Edward Yancey, 56, learned that he suffered from an advanced stage of colon cancer. Doctors said he’d live for six months, so Anissa quit her job to become a full time caretaker for him and their five children. Family funds plummeted, and Yancey said she found herself in uncharted territory.

Edward Yancey didn’t pass in six months, though. He fought for three years, until he died on Oct. 14.

“It’s really, really hard,” Anissa Yancey said. “I’ve always had nice things because my husband and I always worked. Right now I’m doing all right, but I still need help. Christmas is coming for my kids, and I don’t have any money.”

Yancey joins the growing ranks of families with an increase in need, said Salvation Army caseworker Angela Engleman. In the past 18 months the caseload for the Salvation Army skyrocketed by almost 40 percent. Many of the people applying for help were the people who did much of the giving two years before, Engleman said.

“We’re seeing a lot of new people that’ve never asked for help,” she said.

That includes Yancey. “But I think she’s done really well,” Engleman said. “When we first saw her she had some struggles with the shock. But she’s working through all that.”

When she showed up at the Salvation Army to fill out an application for Christmas help, Yancey said she was shocked by the number of people completing applications with her.

“When I went in there for the Christmas application, it was just packed,” she said. “I was kind of embarassed because I never had to ask before.”

But the positive response she received from her community helped restore her hope, she said. And she sought ways to give back, even when it meant loading a truck full of clothes and toys to donate to those less fortunate than herself.

Today Yancey’s working toward closure, attempting to tie loose ends and adjust to a new life.

Shortly after her husband’s diagnosis she moved her family to a house in Grottoes. It’s a big house in a secluded neighborhood – six bedrooms, two stories and a long history.

Looks can be deceiving, though, she said. People sometimes think, ‘Oh, that woman has money,’ she said. But the truth of the matter is she wouldn’t have her home without the help of agencies like the Salvation Army.

Despite the recent death of her husband, and her impending financial troubles, Yancey said she still has a lot to be thankful for.

“I’m thankful that we’re all still alive and that we’re all together,” she said. “I try to enjoy my life, because you never know what tomorrow is going to bring. You have to nowdays, there is so much going on in the world.”

Yancey fights back tears. For a woman who lost so much, she said it’s important for her to stay glued together.

“It’s real hard,” she said. “But you have to be strong for your family. I don’t want to walk around crying and being upset all the time.”

She said she plans to begin looking for a new job once the new year begins. She also wants to join a support group for people who’ve lost their spouses.

But for now Yancey needs tend to her own wounds, buy a gravestone for her husband’s grave and piece her life back together, she said.

A lull in conversation uncovered a house uncharacteristically quiet for a five-person family.

Yancey broke the silence.

“It’s quiet now, but it gets loud. Trust me,” she said.

Yancey’s thankful spirit is one worth emulating, Engleman said.

“You need to have an attitude of gratitude,” she said. “We are technically in a blessed land, compared to overseas. We might be a little short on cash right now, but we’re still blessed.”