3 Up 3 Down

Soap Box Derby: Shortly after this paper hits doorsteps, the kids will be rolling down Main Street in Waynesboro as part of an annual rite, the Soap Box Derby. It culminates months of prep by organizers and racers for the big day, and preserves in the process a slice of Americana that makes Waynesboro one of the world’s great places. To the racers: Go get ’em, gang!

Andrew Traylor: The homeschooler from Staunton did the Valley proud this week by advancing all the way to the fifth round of the Scripps National Spelling Bee semifinals after winning The News Virginian/Daily Progress regional bee earlier in the spring. He was among the final three-dozen spellers in an original field of 11 million. Prodigious work, Andrew. P-R-O-...

Luv Gov: This handsome thoroughbred is our pick to win next week’s Belmont Stakes. Not that we think Luv has a chance, but it’s hard not to adore the big colt whose name was changed to (coincidentally? uh, yeah) match erstwhile New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer and the nickname of derision branded on him after a string of trysts with a call girl. Still, dropping a few sheckels on Luv might not be a bad idea. Word is, the hard-charging stallion has stamina to die for. Funny, they said the same thing about Spitzer.

Tim Williams: Some are calling Waynesboro’s mayor a conservative even after he voted against lowering the city’s property tax rate. Sorry, Mr. Mayor, but voting against offsetting a reassessment increase is voting for a tax increase. We understand Williams’ loss of stomach for spending cuts with more than $1 million already having been slashed from last year’s spending. But let’s call his vote what it was: one for increased taxes.

GM Bondholders: Leading up General Motors’ inevitable bankruptcy declaration, the feds handed bondholders a steaming bowl of dross and advised, chow down or starve. They’ll get a 10-percent stake for $27 billion in bonds. Yummy. Meanwhile, union workers, whose exorbitant compensation helped drive up prices and push GM into the red, will get a 17.5-percent stake, $10 billion in cash, $6.5 billion in preferred stock and more. It pays to cozy up to the government boss man.

Say it ain’t so, Joe: With presses ready to roll on a book charging that President Barack Obama has been “distracted by his vice president’s indiscipline,” Joe Biden dutifully cracked on his boss. After a teleprompter fell over during a commencement speech, Ol’ Joe sniffed, “What am I going to tell the president when I tell him his teleprompter is broken. What will he do then?” One can imagine what Obama would like to do to his locquacious veep.