Role players

MICHAEL J. JONES

From his perch just beyond the top row of the Siegel Center at Virginia Commonwealth University, Michael J. Jones could keep one eye on each of his children.

On the court below, daughter Jocelyn, 10, was running through drills in basketball camp. A few feet away on the concourse, son Jalon, 8, was playing.

“There’s no place I’d rather be than right here, with my kids,” Jones said.

At 41, fit and trim, Jones looked the part of the insurance salesman he became in his late 20s. With cup of coffee in one hand and cell phone in the other, he was juggling three meetings while his kids were playing.

But his plan in the past 10 years hasn’t been pushing premiums. It has been sharing the word of God.

The Chesterfield County resident gave up insurance for the church nearly a decade ago. For the past three years, he has made his living as pastor of Village of Faith Ministries, a church he founded with his wife, Tanya. It has grown into a two-location church that counts 1,200 members at its four weekly services, which are held at schools in Chesterfield and Henrico counties.

All along, though, his family has remained his top priority, he said.

“I watched my father work hard all his life, but I was never certain he enjoyed it,” Jones said. “I want to work hard, but I want to play hard, too.”

And, he said, he wants his children to see that example and run with it.

“There’s a lot of pressure in the black community on preacher’s kids,” he said. “But I don’t want my kids to feel that. I want them to be regular kids, to do regular kid stuff. I want them to make mistakes. I don’t think we’re supposed to take it safe in life.”

Jones didn’t when he gave up a paying gig as a preacher to strike out on his own three years ago.

He credits his faith — and his wife. “She’s made a lot of things possible,” he said.

More than anything, he said, she made possible his dream church.

“We wanted to create the kind of church where we’d go if I weren’t the pastor,” he said. “Men don’t get beat up here. Kids are welcome. They can run around. And we’re in and out. I don’t want to be in church all day.”

He’d rather be playing with his kids.

Zachary Reid is a staff writer for the Richmond Times-Dispatch.

CHUCK IRVING

When Chuck Irving divorced, he faced an uncertain future, but he knew this about his children:

“I wanted them to enjoy life, and I wanted to be a part of it. They deserved a childhood.”

The youngest of his four daughters, Kristen, who was still in a stroller at the time of her parents’ divorce, graduated this month from Freeman High School in Henrico County.

Now, Irving faces another change in his life: an empty house. After years of having Kristen living with him, she’s leaving for college.

He won’t be alone, though. He still has his two Jack Russell terriers, and the other girls — all of whom have lived with him at one time or another through the years — routinely come by for visits, or to do their laundry.

“But they bring their own detergent,” Irving said with a laugh.

Lauren, 25, recently moved to Jacksonville, Fla.; Peyton, 23, is pursuing a master’s degree in elementary education at Virginia Commonwealth University; Heather, 20, is in nursing school at VCU; and Kristen, 18, will attend Virginia Tech.

“We’ve always done things,” said Irving, 54, a siding contractor

who was a baseball standout at Freeman High in the 1970s, pitched for Wake Forest University and then rose as high as Triple-A in the Detroit Tigers organization. “We’ve had fun.”

They go boating out of Colonial Harbor Marina in Lanexa many weekends, and they spend time on the Outer Banks. Busch Gardens, bowling and birthday parties have been regular items on their agenda.

Irving has coached his daughters’ softball teams and attended as many school events as he could, including accompanying them on out-of-town trips. He hosted sleepovers for their friends, always followed by Krispy Kreme doughnuts the next morning (although, he acknowledges, by the time he handed the box over to the girls, there were usually “a few missing”). They laugh a lot.

“Dad is definitely the glue that keeps our bond together,” Lauren said. “His fun-loving personality, his hysterical sense of humor, his energy and charisma — those are the things that make us want to be around him all the time, and in turn, we all want to be around each other.”

When things are not fun, their father is also there, Peyton said.

“He is always there for us when something goes wrong,” she said. “Probably every other day, one of us calls him with a problem.”

A piece of advice Irving is adamant about impressing upon his daughters is to never stay angry at one another. Anytime there’s a quarrel among the sisters, he’s on the phone ordering them to make up — now. He’s felt this way since his brother, Michael, died suddenly almost 20 years ago.

“If they get in a feud, I tell them to settle it real quick because tomorrow might never come,” he said.

He’s proud of how his daughters have turned out: outgoing, independent and very close.

“I feel like we’ve accomplished a lot,” he said. “Everybody’s worked together. It could have been worse. We could have been separated from each other, but we didn’t do that. We came together.”

Bill Lohmann is a staff writer for the Richmond Times-Dispatch.

DAVID AXSELLE

Jonathan Axselle puts in too many hours at work with his father to hang out with his friends very much.

“I’ve always enjoyed working,” he said. “It’s kept me out of trouble.”

He works for his dad, David Axselle, at Axselle Auto Service in the Lakeside area of Henrico County near Bryan Park. The full-service shop was started by David’s late father, Ed, in 1951.

“Dad is an honest man,” said Jonathan, 21. “He would do anything he could for you.”

His father calls him every work day at 6:30 a.m. to rouse him for work, and he brings coffee for his son and others at the shop every morning. “An extra-large cup,” Jonathan said.

“We see each other all day every day,” David said. “It’s a lot of time together.”

People confuse them on the phone. “We talk alike. We have the same tone and attitude,” Jonathan said.

But they have their differences.

“He’s done things a certain way for 40 years,” Jonathan said about his father. “I want to bring us into the modern era.”

They don’t use paper work tickets anymore. They order parts by computer, not over the phone. They send e-mails to customers reminding them to get their cars serviced.

“I don’t resist,” David said. “It’s just different.”

Jonathan worked at the shop every summer since he was 13. So did his sister, Annie, and brother, Dack, but they became teachers.

The business stuck with Jonathan.

“In a family business, you find out early — you love it or you know,” David, 58, said. “It’s long hours. It’s dirty work.

“This is my retirement plan,” David added, putting his hand on Jonathan’s shoulder. “I’m at the twilight of my career. He’s at the beginning.”

When will he hand over the business?

“When I get to my mother’s age,” David said with a smile.

His mother, “Granny” to all in the family and the original bookkeeper, is 91 and still on the payroll.

Carol Hazard is a staff writer for the Richmond Times-Dispatch.

KRAIG WARE

For Kraig Ware, coaching his sons is not just a pleasure, it’s an obligation, a mission and, most of all, a relief.

Ware, 40, is the father of three boys — Shelton, 7, Ashton, 5, and Easton, 2.

Ware has coached Shelton and Ashton in flag football, basketball, T-ball and baseball at the Tuckahoe YMCA and Tuckahoe Little League. He plans to do the same for Easton.

“They demand it,” Ware said. “It’s a thrill.

“To take the simple principles of a drill, and for them to actually get it and then do it in a game, that’s a measurable. You can quantify that. You can say, ‘Hey, I saw that kid improve.’ You only hope the principles you’re teaching about life will apply, as well.”

Ware, 40, is the founder and owner of LiteScapes, an outdoor-lighting company in Henrico County. He previously worked in marketing for a resort company in Williamsburg.

But he reached a point where he believed he had too much time invested in his marketing job and not enough invested in his family.

“The purpose of starting LiteScapes wasn’t to provide for my family,” Ware said. “It was so I would be able to know my family.”

Ware’s wife, Lynn, is a criminal investigator for the Department of the Treasury. They’ve known each other since their days at Arkansas State University, where Kraig, 6-foot-5 and 270 pounds, was a star defensive end.

A neck injury in his junior year ended Ware’s football career. That forced him to put a different focus into his life.

His religious faith led him to work with young people. “I was coaching in my 20s,” he said, “before we even had children.”

Ware’s first experience coaching one of his children came when Shelton was 4 years old. And Ware never loses sight of just what a miracle it was that he was able to do that.

When Shelton was 3 years old, he was diagnosed with a brain aneurysm.

That was bad enough. But Shelton’s aneurysm was in the worst possible place, the dead center of his brain.

“The doctors call it no man’s land,” Ware said. “At the hospital, the doctor came in and said, ‘There’s something there. You need to be prepared to lose your son.’ For the next five days, the world stopped.”

A surgical procedure that wrapped titanium around the aneurysm saved Shelton’s life.

Ware also credits following the instructions of a Bible passage with healing his son.

“We were searching for a verse, and my uncle-in-law called from Arkansas and gave us James 5:13,” Ware said. “I believe he was healed then.”

What matters to Ware now is that Shelton is a normal, happy 7-year-old and that he gets to coach his son.

“To see him play a sport, engage with his friends, every day you see the true value of life,” Ware said. “Every day has been a gift.”

Paul Woody is a staff writer for the Richmond Times-Dispatch.

AL LACY

As far as Al Lacy knew, he had no skills in dealing with children because he’d never had any, so he wasn’t keen on the idea of tutoring at Woodville Elementary School.

But his wife, Beverley, was persistent. The Micah Initiative needed volunteers, and he had time because he was semiretired. He finally agreed to help with a summer session at the Richmond school, but nothing more.

And then he met Antonio Riley.

Something clicked between the white-haired businessman, then 52, and the kindergartner struggling to learn the letters of the alphabet.

“We just hit it off,” Lacy said. “He is very curious and likes to learn. And so do I. We enjoy the same kind of things. We enjoy museums, looking at stuff in general, sports. We do movies together. Our personalities are much alike.

“We have just enjoyed each other.”

Lacy now is part of more than 1,000 volunteers from 83 faith communities helping out at 25 Richmond elementary schools through the Micah Initiative, which has grown from the program started 11 years ago by St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. Lacy is on the organization’s board.

Antonio will enter Thomas Jefferson High School in Richmond this year, but he still makes time to hang out with Lacy.

On one of his last days at Albert Hill Middle School, they went back to Woodville for a visit. Lacy had a meeting of the Micah board, and Antonio wanted to see some old teachers. In between, they sat in the cafeteria and traded good-natured comparisons.

“We both like to read now,” Antonio said.

“We’re both good-looking,” Lacy said with a grin.

“We know how to have fun,” Antonio added.

Antonio was dealing with a lot when his grandmother, Jerlene Lewis, signed him up for the summer academy at Woodville. His mother had been murdered and his father was in prison. Lewis had custody of all four children, the oldest 9 years old and the youngest 13 months. Antonio was 5.

“Antonio . . . just couldn’t communicate and read, dealing with tragedy and all of that,” Lewis said. “Up stepped Mr. Lacy. They hit it off real good. He started off as tutor, then Big Brother. He does everything with Antonio.”

Antonio has other father figures in his life, including his grandfather, but Lacy has a special place.

“He’s like a father figure and a brother figure at the same time,” Antonio said. “When I get in trouble, he gets on my case. When we’re hanging out, it’s more brotherlike.”

Antonio’s grandmother calls Lacy a blessing.

“Antonio has learned a whole lot: self-esteem, believing in himself, making honor roll, going to places, going to camp,” she said. “Mr. Lacy helped my grandson to become the young man he is now.

“I wouldn’t give nothing for Mr. Lacy, and Antonio wouldn’t, either.”

Katherine Calos is a staff writer for the Richmond Times-Dispatch.

MANUEL LOUPASSI

Manuel Loupassi owned and ran the popular Robin Inn restaurant in Richmond’s Fan District for 32 years.

And after the restaurant closed each night, he mopped the floor himself.

In 1993, when his son, Manoli, needed a job between his judicial clerkship and his job as a prosecutor for the Richmond Commonwealth’s Attorney’s Office, “Papa Loup” gave him one — as a dishwasher.

“He was very good,” Manuel, now 72, recalled. “A very intelligent dishwasher.”

Now 42, Manoli Loupassi is a successful attorney and member of the Virginia House of Delegates representing parts of Richmond and Chesterfield County. For all that he has accomplished, his father remains his role model.

“The most important thing I learned from him is about work ethic,” Manoli said. “That this country gives you an opportunity to make it. If you work your hind parts off, you can do anything.”

“He always tried to tell me to do the right thing and teach me the right way to do things,” said Manoli, Manuel’s only son and the youngest of three children. “For me, he was everything I wanted to be.”

Manuel was a 7-year-old boy living in Crete when his father was executed by the Nazis for being part of the resistance to the German occupation of the Greek island during World War II.

At 21, he came to America and scraped together enough money to buy the cozy restaurant on Park Avenue and Robinson Street, which was going out of business. He didn’t have the money to change the neon sign to “Manuel’s Grill,” so the Robin Inn name stayed.

For 32 years, Manuel oversaw virtually every meal that left the kitchen of the affordable restaurant, working nearly every day.

“He built a small fortune selling pasta for $3.50 a plate, plus bread and salad,” said Manoli, whose father taught him how to treat people — not just how to wash dishes.

“Always worry about the little guy,” Manuel said. “Don’t worry about the big guy.”

Manuel handed over the mop when he handed over the restaurant to his daughter, Niki Loupassi, in 1995. But he picked up a ladder and tool box, and still works full time managing and maintaining about 250 apartment units he owns throughout Richmond. His tenants aren’t the only ones who rely on him.

“If something comes up and I really need to know, I call him because he gives great advice,” Manoli said. “Hopefully, my son will feel the same way.”

Jim Nolan is a staff writer for the Richmond Times-Dispatch.